yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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