Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
