Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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