I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize