my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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