apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
