i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
