And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
