their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
