This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
