Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
