i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
ok first of all what the fuck
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
