official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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