Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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