I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
