i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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