I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
