I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize