Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
