There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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