I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
