if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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