I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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