just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just found puke in my bra..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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