I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
