4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize