Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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