I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
