I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
