i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
