I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
