Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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