is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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