Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
