Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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