If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
