mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
