yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
