No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
