Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize