bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
