i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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