do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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