I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hippo gnu deer
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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