I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
