i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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