I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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