Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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