Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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