Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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