The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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