cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
