we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
