I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
