It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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