What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
