I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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