My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
