So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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