She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
