if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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