My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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