how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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