no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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